New LA Therapy Involves Oat Milk Baths and Emotional Breakdowns on Purpose
LOS ANGELES, CA – In an effort to address the mounting emotional instability of Los Angeles County residents—brought on by rent prices, parking tickets, and Mercury Retrograde—the Department of Mental Health (DMH) has launched a bold and spiritually confusing new trauma treatment program titled “Vibe and Heal™.” This multi-sensory emotional reboot includes therapeutic crying sessions,…
We’re So Done (Until Next Month)” — The Monthly Breakup of GenZ’s
If you’ve never experienced emotional whiplash from watching two people break up on Instagram and get back together on BeReal, allow us to introduce the ever-legendary couple: Eli and Jordan. They’ve broken up 12 times this year. It’s July. Chapter 1: The Breakup Begins (Again) It’s the last Thursday of the month—a sacred day in…
“Reddit Raised Me” — How the Internet’s Favorite Forum Became Everyone’s Life Coach, Therapist, Lawyer, and Mom
The Internet, Every Day — Once a niche corner of the web where you went to look up conspiracy theories or leaked Marvel spoilers, Reddit has evolved into the unofficial guidebook to life itself. Forget real-world experience, college degrees, or your parents. Reddit’s got 50,000 people in the comments section, and they all agree you’re…
Confused Grandma Calls 911 After Hearing Grandson’s Fluent Gen Z “No Crumbs? Bet? No Cap?!”
Sarasota, FL — A quiet Tuesday afternoon took a dramatic turn when 78-year-old Dolores “Dottie” Henderson frantically called 911 after overhearing what she described as “a coded criminal confession” from her 17-year-old grandson. Her emergency? “He said ‘No crumbs… Bet… No cap.’ I thought he was planning a robbery!.” The 911 Call Dispatcher: “911, what’s…
“Siri, I Swear If You Say ‘Did You Mean?’ One More Time…”
In a world full of advanced artificial intelligence, where robots can compose symphonies and generate love poems for your cat, we still face one universal truth:AI voice assistants can’t understand non-American accents to save their electric lives. From India to Italy to the UAE, non-English speakers are locked in daily battles with Siri, Alexa, and…
Labubu: The Nightmare Bunny Everyone’s Pretending Is Cute
Move over Beanie Babies and Funko Pops—there’s a new plush protagonist stealing hearts (and $170,000 at auction): Labubu, the half-bunny, half-monster elf from Pop Mart’s The Monsters series. “It’s not possessed. It’s collectible.” – Everyone in denial There’s a new fuzzy panic sweeping the globe, and it answers to the name Labubu—a snaggle-toothed, pointy-eared plush…
“Mars has more oxygen than Mar-a-Lago has class,” Elon tweeted from X
In what can only be described as the most interplanetary petty feud of the decade, tech overlord Elon Musk and former president/golf enthusiast Donald Trump have reignited their spicy rivalry—this time, from opposite ends of the solar system (and Twitter). Trump Threatens to Build “Space-Wall” The beef, which started years ago over electric cars, free…