In what can only be described as the most interplanetary petty feud of the decade, tech overlord Elon Musk and former president/golf enthusiast Donald Trump have reignited their spicy rivalry—this time, from opposite ends of the solar system (and Twitter).
Trump Threatens to Build “Space-Wall”
The beef, which started years ago over electric cars, free speech, and who has the bigger rocket, has now escalated into full-blown planetary politics.
It all started when Musk, sipping recycled rainwater in his $200 billion Martian bunker, declared Mars the “superior vacation destination compared to any Florida swamp resort,” subtly jabbing at Trump’s beloved Mar-a-Lago.
“Mars has more oxygen than Mar-a-Lago has class,” Elon tweeted from X (formerly Twitter, now apparently an intergalactic mind-control experiment).
He also teased a new Tesla model built for Martian terrain called the Tesla MAGA-Naut, which he described as “a red hat on wheels that runs on ego and moon dust.”
Never one to be outdone, Trump proposed building a space-wall around Earth to keep “Elon’s weird little robots and Martian immigrants out.” In an interview on Fox News Galaxy, Trump claimed:
“We’re going to build a beautiful wall. A tremendous wall. And Mars is going to pay for it—maybe with Dogecoin, who knows?”
Meanwhile, the economy has suffered exactly zero real damage, but meme stocks surged anyway, with “Marzcoin” briefly overtaking Bitcoin before imploding due to a rogue TikTok from Grimes.
Dogecoin was last seen orbiting Saturn.
Speculation is swirling that the two men may settle this the only way billionaires know how: a zero-gravity golf match on Mars.
Trump has already claimed he’ll “hit a hole-in-one into Olympus Mons,” while Musk is reportedly developing a golf ball that doubles as a neural chip and tweets when you swing.
As Earth burns, billionaires bicker, and robots plot their uprising, one thing is certain:
Mars may be red, but this feud is gold.
