Effective: Whenever You First Laughed Here
At Barely True, your privacy is very important to us—mostly because we don’t have the emotional bandwidth for lawsuits. So here’s everything you need to know (and probably skim over) about how we handle your information.
What We Collect
We may collect the following highly sensitive and probably boring information:
- Email address (if you sign up, which you should)
- Your browser type (Chrome, Firefox, Internet Explorer—ew)
- Pages you visit (mainly to judge your taste in satire)
- IP address (not to stalk you—promise)
- Clicks, scrolls, and unhinged behavior patterns
Don’t worry—we’re not the NSA. We’re just a website with trust issues.
Cookies (Not the Chocolate Chip Kind)
Yes, we use cookies to enhance your experience and pretend we understand analytics. These little bits of code:
- Help remember your preferences
- May offer personalized content
- Occasionally eat your soul (just kidding… mostly)
You can disable cookies in your browser settings, but our site might look like a hot mess without them.
Do We Share Your Data?
Not unless:
- The FBI shows up with a warrant
- We partner with a third-party service to make the site better
- You commit unspeakable acts against grammar
- You want us to (like, really want us to)
Translation: We don’t sell your info. We barely know how to monetize anything.
AI and Tracking Tools
We might use AI tools, but don’t worry—they’re just as confused as we are. If you’re worried about being watched, just assume your phone’s already doing that.
Third‑Party Links
Sometimes we link to other sites for news, memes, or questionable inspiration. Once you click off Barely True, we’re not responsible for anything—emotionally or legally.
Children Under 13
This site is not intended for children. We talk about adult stuff, like taxes, trauma, and iced coffee addiction. If you’re under 13, go play Minecraft.
Your Choices
You can:
- Unsubscribe from our emails (though we’ll cry)
- Clear your cookies
- Yell into the void (less effective)
Policy Updates
We may update this Privacy Policy anytime, especially if something breaks or a law gets passed. We’ll post the updated version here with a new date—and maybe even a meme.
This Privacy Policy exists to protect you, but also us. If anything’s unclear, it’s because we went to art school, not law school.
Stay weird. Stay private-ish. Stay Barely True.